3 Bored..in a Boredom Ville.

Yeah, I wish I can play guitar, but no, I will not post my nude picture on the web, who want to look by the way. Hahaaha

3 The sister..

Friday, October 14, 2005
The never forgotten sister..

I dont know how i want to write this, and i dont know if its a good decision to share this writing with others. But i hope that we can learn something from what i want to write..or maybe..she, who i dedicated this, somehow in miracle will read this.

Day after day, i really proud, really care and of course really love my family. Expecially my siblings. I love my elder sister (along),my older brother (angah) and of course my younger brother (adik).All of them have their own character. Along is our unofficial leader, her wisdom always guide us to face all the hard time,and her caring always make us know that we are meaningful to each other. Angah is joker in our family, he have a lot of sense of humour,even he is unmatured and playful but whenever we together, we always have a cheerful moment with him. Adik is our heart, a silence guy, a person that we always can count ,our secret keeper,never betray us even the secret always hurt him more.
in our love circle, sometimes we cant avoid to think about someone that we never can count as our sibling,even we really want its in full our heart.She is my father's daughter.

In our childhood Abah always told us that we have one sister that cant live with us. But he always in eager when it comes to time he spoke about her,how that our sister learn to cook,learn to making clothes and a couple of times he took us to visited her at school. We learn to know that our father once had a broken marriage, he had divorced long before he meet our mother.
Trough all our father story, this person always live in our heart. We always imagined one day she will come and live with us. But it never happen. Some reallity is really hurt. Something happened, since that, we never heard her name uttered by our father.

Life is complicated and unpredictable. My brothers had met her in unexpected situation,in different time and situation. She never recognised them. But we life with her photo in our living room,and it was a golden chance,when she invited angah to her house,met her own family. We silence in tears when angah told that she had a miserable life after my father divorced,only her marriage save her life.

Till now, we still have her cellphone number and address. But we never have a courage to call or visit her, we really scared if we just will make her life worse. Sometimes we jump to conclusion that she have her own life and never need us. But deep in our heart, we dream that one day she will know and admit that she have 4 other siblings,that always love her but never know how to tell her.

***

Yesterday, I browsed my old blog in blogdrive, and found this post that I put as one of my favourite post. What happened after this post? I had emailed that link to this sister a few months after I wrote that entry, and from that day onward we had been contacted each other, meet in some family gathering, and this sister even started visiting us in Eidulfitri, its like she come to our life and we feel the warm of her love, she seems so strong and happy with her small family that we started to know and always welcome. She is our big sister, we called her Sis Izah. A very loving person, we catch our moment here and there, like we want to repay all that we miss and lost.

Without our knowledge, she is struggling with illness, and end of 2009 she was admitted to hospital for major operation. We become to know, she is so strong, more than we expect, more than what we can read from her face, she keep all the pain from our eyes.

Me, as my self, when my Along told me about the news, and until now, I choose to be silent, not even a single text to her, our sister Izah. Tha's me, I never know how to say, how much I am concern, how much I want her to get well and be Sister Izah that we always know and see, I never good in express my feeling.

Sis Izah, get well soon..I pray with all my heart. We just begin to know you and we want to spend more time with you..

 My Along and her daughter, Najla, and Sis Izah

0 Appreciation of your existence.

Whenever I go, I will always meet someone ..a friend that show me they need me. One person in one time. I will always have to been through so many thing, and in that tough path, I always collected a few people that share a same shoes with me. Most of the time, we are outcast. Stranded in the place that people call us misfit.

The sweet thing is, most of the time, we have to hide our friendship, just because we don't want our situation become worse, people will say we click because we are weirdos.

Despite of all obstacle, we do appreciate each other, in our own way.

What will you say if a friend tell you that they only have you, and your existence  make their world feel smooth, and comfy. What will you say if your friend say you are the first person in their mind when the world surprise them with some harsh news.

And I believe, God send this people to make my life easier in this uncertain life. Just like I know since I remember that God sent me a sister as an angel to me, so I can face all the prejudice in my life.

I believe, God send each of us, as an angels to another each of us.